the one who shames me the most: UPDATE!

So remember that post I wrote about showing up 24 hours early for an appointment with my therapist?  Well, I have an even better one for you!  Yesterday, I went to meet a good friend for lunch.  We planned to meet at 11:30, and amazingly, I arrived a few minutes before the appointed meeting time.  I fully expected to see my friend there, as she is always punctual, but I was the first to arrive.

I waited for several minutes and then I started to wonder… (again, this particular friend is never late).  So like the last time, I went back to the emails we had exchanged to confirm (what was actually this time my growing suspicion) that I had, yet again, goofed.  YEP!  I had!  The email exchange we had specified the first FULL week of June, and this year June began on Monday – the second day of the week.  So this time, like last time, I was early.  But unlike last time, this time I was a FULL WEEK early.

But more importantly, unlike last time I did not berate myself.  My first thought was not “I’m such an idiot,” or “I’m so stupid.”  I actually chuckled to myself.  THAT, my friends, is progress.

So I called my friend to verify that we are indeed meeting next week, and she confirmed the same.  She was kindly, and unnecessarily, apologetic.  I was the one who goofed, after all, she wasn’t.  And you know what?  It was ok.  I laughed about it with the woman who took my carryout order (all was not lost – I still got to eat what I was looking forward to eating that day!) and told her I would see her again next week, I am able to meet my friend next week, albeit on a different day, no harm was done, and again, I was kind to myself.

This might not seem like a big deal, but to me it is.  I can see the change in myself.  I am starting to shift from the one who shames me the most, to the one who forgives me the most and shows me the most grace.  It’s a daily practice to show ourselves grace, but I can tell you based on yesterday’s experience, that the practice pays off, and the victory, even though it’s one moment in one day, is pretty sweet.

3 thoughts on “the one who shames me the most: UPDATE!”

    1. Yes! I wish it for both of us, too. I thought of you as I was writing about it… knowing you would absolutely appreciate the struggle AND the gains. What a journey, huh? So glad we can share it. xoxo.

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